Don’t use it as a background for a selfie and DO NOT make eye contact with the person next to you: etiquette expert William Hanson’s 10 do’s and don’ts for using festival toilets
- Don’t let the tags go down the drain while using festival loos
- William Hanson is offering to “elevate the experience” – as best he can
- His tips also include not using “My boyfriend really needs a pee” to jump in the queue
William Hanson has revealed 10 do’s and don’ts for sharing festival toilets
The festival season is underway and that means the grim task of tackling the festival toilets is on.
To help improve the experience – as best he can – etiquette expert William Hanson has partnered with Victorian Plumbing to create 10 do’s and don’ts for sharing toilet facilities – including the infamous portable loo – with thousands of other people in an area.
Joe Pascoe, Chief Marketing Officer at Victorian Plumbing, said: ‘As the UK festival season begins, our normal daily ‘toilet etiquette’ seems to change completely as we head out to these big outdoor music events which tend to be totally down the drain.’ So it’s Hanson to the rescue, with tips that include not using festival toilets as a backdrop for selfies and avoiding using “my boyfriend badly wants a pee” as an excuse to jump in line…
1. Passing comments about sights, sounds or smells of the toilet environment is very vulgar and never appropriate. So keep these comments to yourself. If you’re expecting shiny toilets, a festival might not be the best place to look.
2. If you find a toilet in a less-than-fresh condition, don’t hesitate to go to a festival organizer and politely let them know so they can do something about it. Words like “cabin four needs some love and attention” or “may I ask you to freshen up the fourth loo?”
3. If you accidentally look at a bare front or bottom, quickly look away and don’t stare. Exercise some discretion and pretend you haven’t noticed—a dying art in modern times.
4. If your urinals don’t have eye-level dividers, don’t make eye contact with the people on either side – whether you know them or not. Look straight ahead or straight down (if you like), smile sweetly and think of Britain.
Long drop loos aren’t the place for long gossip, says Hanson
5. Like any toilet anywhere, Festival-Loos aren’t private rooms: all conversations can be overheard – so save yourself the whining about your boyfriend or that annoying so-and-so who hit on you at the gig last night because you never know who’s listening. Long drop loos are not the place for a long gossip.
6. Carrying your own anti-bac gel is always a good idea for festivals, especially since the soap dispensers can get dry quite quickly. It’s always good form to share it with others if they ask – but ideally, you offer first.
7. The idea of urinals (for any gender) is that they speed up the process and make the toilet line move much faster. So try to be as quick as possible when using them and keep efficiency a priority.
8th. Rarely is there a good reason to queue. Telling those in front of you that your friend is “absolutely desperate for a pee” isn’t enough of a reason to get involved. Everyone is in the same boat.
9. Festival toilets are not the place to take photos. Although many restaurants are now deliberately pimping the toilets to look camera-ready, a festival toilet is definitely not a place for a selfie.
10 After all, a Shewee must never be shared. Never offer and never ask.
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