A woman has sparked a heated debate online after asking people’s opinion on whether the rules on fathers paying child support are strict enough.
The unnamed woman reached out to the UK parenting forum mom net to gather opinions on the controversial issue, saying the system in the UK is a “joke” and not strict enough, prompting mixed reactions.
Commentators shared their horror stories of ex-husbands claiming they are miserable and paying a miserable few pounds a month while living a lavish lifestyle.
But others claimed that some women see biological fathers as cash cows and only want their money while freezing them out of their children’s lives.
An anonymous poster sparked debate on Mumsnet after asking people their opinions on child support payments
The woman asked others for their opinions in her post, entitled ‘Does anyone think the UK is a joke when it comes to not paying child support?
She said: “You hear a lot of stories, especially in the UK, where courts aren’t as strict on people who are no longer together to pay child support.
“Unlike the UK, the US is a lot stricter and avoiding paying child support is a lot harder.
“Does anyone think the rules in the UK need to be much stricter? How can it be better enforced in the UK and assuming someone has around £1.5k to £2k a month after tax, what is the minimum amount you think someone should be paying a month for maintenance?
A small number of respondents were very sympathetic to estranged fathers and said child support services were also stressful for them
One commentator, who was broadly sympathetic to fathers, claimed that many of them were “driven to suicide” by child support issues.
“I would say they need to get their shit straight before they impose any more restrictions,” she wrote. “Every story always has two sides.”
Another suggested that some mothers are always unhappy with the outcome of child support payments no matter what.
They wrote: “If you want 50/50 they say you want to avoid paying alimony. If you pay child support, the CMS payments are not enough for everything they do.
“I think for some women, not all, a biological father has no value other than paying child support. They want the child to be a part of their new relationship without the birth father’s involvement. That’s what a lot of women say here. You don’t have to worry about parenting styles, schools, health, travel, moving. However, it will affect the child.
Many respondents agreed with the poster and said they had difficulty receiving child support payments from their ex-partners
However, others revealed how they struggled to receive payments from former partners who are begging poverty to wriggle out of it.
One wrote: “It’s awful. My ex-husband is self-employed. Injects the money no problem but has said he claims benefits so only has to pay £7.50 a month per child. But that doesn’t stop him from being Father of the Year!’
Another agreed, saying: “They should just use their powers. For five years, my arrears accumulated while I switched jobs. Becomes self-employed and moves. Why they don’t just take it out of his bank account I have no idea. He would soon find out if they did.”
And a third chimed in, adding: “I get £28 plus change a month which comes from him claiming universal credit. He owns and runs a business without ever paying taxes. I’ve been complaining to CMS non-stop, saying I’ve launched an investigation into him which may take up to a year, despite years of giving them evidence of his business. He was taken to court for arrears in 2020, but because he’s not claiming benefit, they can’t get to him. The overall system is a joke and not fit for purpose.”
Many mumsnetters felt that severe penalties should be implemented for those who default on child support payments.
Several posters wanted to see serious consequences for alimony arrears
One said I think NI numbers should be linked to birth certificates and any non-payment of child support will be covered by the state and reclaimed against the state pension etc.
“It is totally unacceptable that so many children are being left behind in poverty because of these D******** and then successive governments are wringing their hands and tweeting about the latest exciting ‘initiative’ to tackle child poverty. How about we cut the crap and get the money to the very heart of the problem?’
Another commenter agreed, adding: “We should have started collecting it through control codes a long time ago. We now have real-time taxes, so even less excuses.’
And another felt even stronger, writing: “If I had my way I would issue a district court judgment on anyone over three months in arrears
“Unless these parents can lease a nice new shiny car and can’t get a mortgage, the focus might be on what they have to pay for.
“Hit them in the pocket with a CCJ and it always tends to focus a person’s mind. I would also rotate her license and passport
“I would also make sure that child support is not reduced because they decide to have more children or move in with a woman and pay for their children.”
